An Anxiety of His Own

For the past almost 7 years my MIL has been the child keeper of choice for my guys.  When we went back to work after Eli was born she was the person who loved and snuggled on him daily.  5 days a week and almost 8 hours a day for almost 7 years.  It was always a comfort to know that the boys were with her, were with someone who loved them just as much as we do, who always had their best interests at heart.

This fall Keegan entered kindergarten.  Her babysitting contract was completed.  With the arrival of my brother the torch was passed to him getting them on the bus and my honey getting them off the bus.  We signed them up for Extra Time care just in case but once again relied on family who loves them to help us out.

My brother was fortunate enough to get a job within just a few weeks of his arrival.  Because of the lack of seniority he pretty much has to take the hours he gets.  And, believe me, he’s thrilled to have hours at all.  He knows what it’s like to be jobless, moneyless, homeless.  We realized rather quickly that we were fortunate to have the option of Extra Time.

School has been in session for 1-1/2 months now and we have yet to use the service.  When my brother has had to work early nana and papa have stepped up and more than willingly offered to help out.  On Tuesday’s Eli has vision therapy and Keegan must ride the bus home alone.  If my brother isn’t there to get him off the bus my FIL rapidly cruises over to get his “stinky” off the bus.  They miss all of the time they used to spend with them.  Truth be told, so do we.

Tomorrow will be our first conflict that nana and papa can’t cover.  Extra Time is waiting in the wings.  The problem?  It’s in the afternoon.  Eli has vision therapy.  Keegan must go to Extra Time alone for the first time.

To date, the majority of Keegan’s firsts have involved his brother in one way or another.  His first day of preschool his brother walked him in.  He was on his first soccer team and his first baseball team with his brother.  He shared his first bus ride with his brother.  His brother taught him about kindergarten and made sure he made it to call ok that very first day.  So Keegan’s comments tonight?

I can’t go to ET without Eli.  I won’t know anyone.  I won’t know what to do.  How will you find me?  I really need Eli to come with me.  Mommy you should just take me to work with you in the morning when you go.  I’ll just play there tomorrow.  I don’t really need to go to school.  I’m so worried about going to ET.

The time has finally come for this worried, young boy to take a walk without his brother.  He can step out on his own.  I know he can.  He can be the one to show his brother how this is done the first time they do it together.  Everyday I see new differences between them that are making them their own people.  It’s time for Keegan to see the person he is without his brother.  He is amazing, I can see it.  In time he will see it too.  And, at the end of the day tomorrow, he will be proud of himself for making it through ET alone and he will have so many stories to share.

Of course, this is all contingent upon my brother being able to get him on the bus in the morning.


About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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3 Responses to An Anxiety of His Own

  1. Kate says:

    I’m hoping he’s on the bus, maybe just maybe imagining adventures that he will be the first to tell stories about. As a younger sister, I always played second fiddle, until I finally did my own thing. It was glorious. Then again, I chose the moment to step out of the shadows, but he’ll do fine.

  2. debbi henry says:

    He’ll do just great, and as you said, he will be proud of himself after.

  3. Elastamom says:

    Here’s hoping it went well. I can just imagine Keegan’s little face and him whispering! 🙂

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