Oops…

Almost 2 weeks ago Eli entered 1st grade.

With a new grade came a new set of rules, expectations and consequences.

Last year’s behavior system started all children with a smiley face at the beginning of the day.  If they broke a rule the card was turned to green.  If they broke a rule again the card was turned to yellow.  Turned again to red.  Each color held a specific set of consequences.

This year it’s the Oops Book.  For good behavior the children are rewarded with $$ to add up to their daily total to be spent in the classroom store at the quarter.  Sign the Oops Book for breaking a rule and there are no $$.

Today was grandparents day for the 1st graders.  They were able to bring in homemade cookies to share.  Grandparents were invited for lunch and a snack.  There was a drastic change in routine.

Eli awoke this morning and worked hard through his vision therapy.  I started making lunches and reminded him that he had a bag of the cookies we baked together yesterday.  Suddenly his entire demeanor changed.

He was hyper.  He was loud.  He was running.  He was using the squeaky voice.

Enter Grandparent’s Day Anxiety…

Eli goes to sensory 2x a day.  Right away in the morning and right after lunch.

He went to sensory this morning.  He said he didn’t hear the Intervention Specialist when she told him 3 times that it was time to go back to the classroom.  He didn’t follow the direction.  He signed the Oops Book.  A note came home for us to sign stating we knew of the offense.

I cannot punish him.  He’s been punished enough.

When Eli is anxious he doesn’t hear.  He cannot process to hear.  He cannot follow directions.  Add to it that one of the other kiddos in sensory was being loud and the kid didn’t have a chance.

The offense took place on his morning sensory break on grandparent’s day.  Anxiety took over and my poor little guy didn’t have a chance.

He came home in tears.  He was upset because he said he didn’t hear her.  This happens at home a lot.  I know him well enough to know when he truly doesn’t hear and when I need to call shenanigans.  Today was heartfelt.  Today was true.  Today he didn’t hear the direction.

We called it a warning at home.  Time to pick himself back up and not sign the Oops Book again.  He accepted the warning.  We accepted the fact that this time he had no control over what happened and he took the opportunity to punish himself severely.  The tears he shed over the broken rule told me it wouldn’t be happening again any time soon.

I’m proud of the behavior he had throughout the day minus the Oops Book incident.  Even that I commend him on.  Because in knowing him I know how much worse it used to be.

He has made so much progress.  I meet with his IEP team, including the new teacher tomorrow to share just how far he’s come.  I want this school year to be a positive one for him.  I want to shout to them all what a changed little boy I sent them this year.

I remain positive on my outlook for this school year.  In signing the Oops Book today Eli is learning the social norms that are acceptable.  While this incident was not truly his fault, he needs to be cognizant of the behaviors he has and make himself aware of his body, his emotions, his person so that he can work to control himself appropriately.

Truth be told, I likely needed to sign the Oops Book today.  Didn’t we all?

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About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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3 Responses to Oops…

  1. Kate says:

    My daughter is so rule abiding, it’s scary. She came home in tears because she was scared to ask if she could go to the bathroom during gym. It would lower her conduct score. I told her I NEVER will punish her for going to the bathroom. And I will never be upset if she gets a lesser conduct score because of it. Some things are more important than rules.
    I wish his sensory teacher had a little more leniency with him on this stressful day. I wish all rules could be applied aptly to the individual rather then laid onto the group.
    I certainy signed my oops book today. But, thats okay. The measure of life isn’t mistakes, but how we get back up. And Eli sure did get back up by behaving the rest of the day!

  2. debbi henry says:

    I think you did a great job with Eli about this Oops book. It seems that they expected a lot from him and that they could have handled the situation better. I’m anxious when new things occur and I don’t think I would have heard them either. Hopefully this is the last time he has to sign his name in that book!
    Good luck at the IEP and let us know how it goes!!!

  3. Elastamom says:

    You are such a great Mom for both of your boys, Heather!

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