Could We Start Again Please?

4:20am – my honey’s alarm goes off.  Country music playing in the background.  She unwillingly rolls out of bed to head for the bathroom.  Wind is blowing all around our house.  It doesn’t sound right.  I listen for tornado sirens.  I don’t hear them.  I look out Keegan’s window and don’t see the trampoline.  Pretty dark and windy…  perhaps I just can’t see it.

4:25am – I go downstairs and turn on the TV.  There is no tornado warning.  Only high wind gusts.  I go out the back door and there is no trampoline.  I go out the front door and see it laying, all tangled, in the middle of our street, another early riser trying to drive around it.  I close the door, grab shoes and grab my honey.

4:30am – 2 small bodied women in good shape drag a mangled trampoline into 65mph gusting winds, move it to the back yard huffing and puffing all the way.  One pushing, the other pulling.  Laying it to rest in the crook between the house and the garage.  It is then that they notice the grill laying on its back, looking rather mangled in its own way.  They hope there is no other damage they can see.

4:40am – I attempt to go back to bed after changing out of soaking pajamas.  My breathing begins to calm.  The adrenaline is reduced.  My heart rate slows.  Keegan asks me why I didn’t just wear a coat so I didn’t get wet.  He watched the entire event from my bedroom window.  I snuggle him close and remind him it’s time to sleep.  I drift off eventually only to have nightmares about tornadoes.

7:00am – My alarm buzzes.  The wind has calmed somewhat.  I hope the trampoline has not moved any further.  I hope there is no other damage.  I quickly dress and look out my bedroom window.  I see trampoline springs scattered in the street.  I go quickly to the street and pick up the springs.  I remind the boys to look for springs as they walk to Eli’s bus stop.  I explain that the trampoline may not be able to be fixed.  Eli asks how much a new one would cost.  Then he asks if I would just by them each a Nintendo DS instead.  I roll with laughter as I softly say no.  I take a quick walk around the outside of the house.  Amazingly the trampoline flying through the neighborhood did no damage to anything except itself.

8:40 – I am called into an office by my boss.  I have lost an opportunity that I worked so very hard for on a technicality.  I’m no longer allowed to interview for the job I wanted.  My heart is broken.  My spirit crushed.

9:00 – I email all the people who worked so very hard to try to get me into the interview.  My supervisor emails me back with an I’m Sorry.  I suddenly can’t stop crying.

12:30pm – I’m in a 2 hour meeting with my boss.  I’m hurt, I’m angry and I’m stuck in a room with her for 2 hours.  She goes on about the day as if nothing actually happened.

4:30pm – My work day finally ends.  I head across town to watch my boys in karate.  They are focused.  They are doing amazing.  It is fantastic.  It was a beautiful way to begin the conclusion of my day.

5:50pm – I arrive home with the boys.  I walk in the front door to find flowers in a vase sitting on the kitchen table.  My honey and my amazing boys thought of the day I was having and surprised me with flowers and drawings.  It touched my heart in ways I cannot describe.  My day sucked and suddenly the sun was peaking through the clouds.

7:30pm – I snuggle on my bed with 2 freshly bathed boys smelling of baby lotion.  We watch Diego together and giggle together.

8:00pm – I tuck my family into bed, so incredibly thankful for them.  I remind myself that my job is not what defines me.  It is a part of me.  This.  This beautiful family.  This is what defines me.

And so my mouth begins to sneak a little smile.  My eyes soften, full of love.  My heart is on the mend.

Soon I will snuggle under my covers.  I will roll onto my side looking into the darkness with the hope that when my eyes open again I will see sunshine.  I will hope that tomorrow brings a brighter day.


About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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4 Responses to Could We Start Again Please?

  1. Patty says:

    I am so sorry about your job. But this post? Yeah, it’s beautiful!

  2. Debbi Henry says:

    Sounds like you need that rollercoaster to slow down as well! What a wonderful job you do of looking at what is most important, and staying positive. HUGS to you!

  3. Elastamom says:

    I love this post even though it was full of not-so-good moments. I’m so sorry about the job; I know how badly you wanted it. So glad the boys and Jane cheered you up.

  4. akbutler says:

    Your day…not so good. This post? Full of hope and your beautiful spirit. I hope today was better. A lot better.

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