Here We Go Again

April is upon us (in a few days).

If it weren’t for this blog I just might go insane.

Because I’ve been hanging here for a while now I can notice trends and patterns in Eli.

April and October are hard for him.

The change in weather, growth spurts, transitions.

This April is no different.

Eli has been angry.

He has jumped to yelling in a mean tone no matter what anyone says to him.  He breaks down into uncontrollable tears over things like his Kung Zhu’s armor turning off his Kung Zhu every time he touched it.

This time last year was similar.

This year we’re armed with the worry doctor and a box full of other tools.

This year we realize that there is anxiety over the move to 1st grade.  It’s a different hall in the school.  It’s a different teacher.  It’s a different group of friends.  It’s a change he has no control over.  Hell, my anxiety is starting to rise.  I have no control either.  And, his teacher has made kindergarten such a cozy, hot cocoa place to be that I don’t want to leave.  Therefore, I know he doesn’t!

Summer is around the corner.  At least that’s what the calendar says.  The weather around here has yet to prove it.  Nevertheless, summer means that there is change.  He will be home all day.  There will be new activities.  There will be new groups of friends.  I worry about where summer will take us.  I know that he does too.

So, my new thing today was to enhance my calm.  To find a way to help him smile in the middle of the emotional meltdown.  To use a soft voice to remind him that no one is yelling in hopes that his voice will calm too.  And to laugh.

It was a tough day for me.  A good day.  But a tough one.  I was emotional and was feeling the need to just curl up.  So I curled up with a sweet blonde boy and we snuggled and gave vampire massages and tickled and laughed.  Then my sweet hazel eyed boy asked for his time.  And I gladly offered him the same one-on-one time.  And we snuggled and tickled and squeezed and laughed.  It was the best way for all of us to end our day.

So, thankfully, I have this journal of our truths.  I am able to come back here to see where we were a year ago.  To see that we’ve made progress but that this time of the year is just difficult.  And that grants me peace, which is what 2011 is all about.


About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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5 Responses to Here We Go Again

  1. Debbi Henry says:

    I bet April will go much smoother now that you have those tools to use with Eli! I also bet that those snuggles will help too!!

  2. Elastamom says:

    I have to know what vampire massages are?!?

  3. I’m with Tiff–do tell what a vampire massage is!!

  4. Patty says:

    We have the same issues with my son this time of the year. All of a sudden, many things get more difficult for him and for us. I’m looking forward to summer!

  5. What is a vampire massage?!

    Keep your head up and your mind strong!

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