Support

I posted recently here that Eli was having troubles on the bus.

He had an appointment with the worry doctor today.  I brought up the bus incident with her so that she could talk with Eli.  It’s still been bothering him.  He’s begging to not ride the bus in the afternoon.  He’s pleading to have Keegan start school immediately so that he has someone to sit on the bus with always.

I love his worry doctor because she spends the last 15 minutes of each appointment sharing with us what they talked about and giving us suggestions for home.

Today she shared that he was more aggressive during Play Therapy than he’s ever been before.  He was being threatening with his words and was pushing the puppets and games.  She was concerned because she’d never seen him like this.

He shared with her the same incident that he shared with us regarding the bus last week.  She did a nice job of working through that with him and working on how to deal with bullies.

During our conversation Eli brought up that he and the boy were now getting along and they sat together more often.  Except that he also told us he wasn’t supposed to tell us they were sitting together.  That was a secret the little boy told him to keep.

Both the worry doctor and I were quiet for a moment.  I looked at her with what I’m certain was horror on my face.  This incident just keeps getting more bizarre.

She asked Eli what grade this child was in.  He reported as he always has that he is in 2nd grade.

She shook her head and looked at me with care and concern.  She shared that it makes her very uncomfortable when older children tell younger children to keep a secret like that.  I couldn’t stop thinking about the knot in my gut.

It felt good to be understood.  It felt reassuring to have a professional recognizing the concern.

Upon my arrival home I grabbed the computer and emailed Eli’s teacher.  I wanted to let her know this new bit of information.  I requested that this boy not be allowed to sit with Eli.  Clearly it makes him uncomfortable and he doesn’t know how to properly express that.

There are times when I wonder if I shelter him too much.  If I fix things for him too quickly.

Then I remember that he’s 6.  He’s not supposed to fix everything for himself.  He’s supposed to be sheltered because he’s just a little boy.  He’s supposed to have parents that love him enough and care about him enough to do this.

And boy does he have that!

**I have to add a really exciting side note here!!!  Eli is now down to seeing the worry doctor every other week.  With the exception of this bus thing, he is now talking through his worries more appropriately.  It’s still difficult but we have so many more tools in our chest to use.  It makes all of this much more manageable.**

 

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About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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4 Responses to Support

  1. Kate says:

    First, I know that gut wrenching feeling of not knowing what is going on and wishing to make it all better (or better yet disappear, even from the past). Parenting is tough.

    I also wanted to know if you could share some of your worry tools. My daughter does really well most of the time, but once she gets a fear in her head, its game over. Example: the bumps in our street are too big. She doesn’t want to bike any more. Ever. Swimming is a huge one too. And normal reassurance doesn’t help. I’m not sure it’s time to call in the professionals, but I would like a few more tools in my belt.

  2. Debbi Henry says:

    I’m glad you are learning the tools to help Eli with his worries. Having the tools to help makes a big difference doesn’t it? Also, how wonderful that he has the parents that he has, who are willing to do everything they can to help him. Lovely photos!

  3. Elastamom says:

    The bus is so scary. I’m glad he was able to share his feelings.

  4. fromthemnkybars says:

    My son is 7 and I feel the same way. I know there are a couple kids who he sometimes has trouble with at school and every day I ask if they were mean to him. Nothing so far has raised much concern, normal kid stuff, but I’m sure to keep on top of it. It sounds like you’re doing a great job!

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