Reality Check

I left home last night after dinner and traveled 2.7 miles to our neighborhood elementary school for the purpose of signing Keegan up for Kindergarten.

I left with strict instructions from Eli that I was to make sure to tell his teacher that Keegan could be in her class or Mrs. W’s class but NO others.

I left Keegan at the kitchen table hoping that I would come home to tell him that he could start riding the bus today, that he was absolutely ready to start Kindergarten now.

I entered the cafeteria and was taken back to this time last year when my honey and I signed Eli up for Kindergarten.  I grinned at myself and how high my anxiety level was that night.  I chuckled a little at how blasé I was this go round.

I took a seat next to another parent of a child in Eli’s class.  We remarked to each other at how many familiar faces we saw at registration.  7 other families in Eli’s class have children starting Kindergarten in the fall.  Are we all NUTS???

The presentation started and we were introduced as parents of the class of 2024.  It was weird last year to hear 2023 for Eli.  2024 seemed so much more crazy.

Somewhere through the middle of the presentation I couldn’t get the 2024 thing out of my head.  It suddenly hit me that when Keegan graduates I will have just turned 50…

I’ve spent all this time thinking wow..  I’m still 3 whole years away from 40.  I feel good, I’m working on looking good.  Life is great.

Then, just like that, I’m 50 and my kids are moved out (hopefully!).

Of course, the anxiety in me then started thinking about what my boys would be doing.  How old would I be when they had kids of their own – when I became a grandma?  Would they finish college and get good jobs?  With the country going to crap, as my dear friend Tiffany puts it, will there even be jobs for them to get?  Will they take care of me when I’m really old and going senile?

And there I was, planning my funeral.

Thank goodness I came home.  When I walked in my door I was back to being the mommy of Eli, who’s only 6, and Keegan who’s almost 5.  I wasn’t 50, I wasn’t a grandma.

I got my “I love you mommy” hugs and kisses.  I got to tuck my boys into bed and give them goodnight loves.  I watched each of them for a moment as they drifted off to sleep.

My boys are growing up before my very eyes.  Last night was a good reminder of just how fast it’s all going.  Of how I need to chill out and focus on today.  Tomorrow will be here before I know it.  There’s no sense worrying about it now.


About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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2 Responses to Reality Check

  1. Dude, I just turned (gulp) 42. I so understand that time warp thingy that happened in that cafeteria. Sometimes I curse myself, thinking, “Why did I wait so long to have kids?” And then I remember, oh yeah. I hadn’t met anyone decent in those younger years. I wouldn’t want to have kids with any of those freakshows. So yeah, I’m old, but I waited for the right one.

  2. Elastamom says:

    Those reality checks are brutal.

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