Look Out For The HomoAmericans

Don’t worry.  I’m not about to get all political on you.  I don’t do that often anyway and I’m certainly not about to start making a habit of it here.

First I have to share that if you don’t watch Mike & Molly on CBS you’re missing some funny stuff.  They coined the term HomoAmericans and it made me giggle so I had to share it here.

Second, it has a little to do with what I have to gripe about today.  That and this:

I work with young children.  I have for my entire career.

I used to be a preschool teacher in a Head Start program somewhere far, far away.  We had a social worker who was Mr. Buff.  His biceps were about the size of my calves (I was slightly larger during those years…).  He loved to wear the skin-tight, muscle shirts and the ass hugging jeans.  He was much too narcissistic to care if all the moms were swimming in their own drool around him.

Mr. Buff would travel from classroom to classroom to check up on the children that he was “in charge of”.  He waltzed into my room one day and nearly had a heart attack.  There, in the housekeeping area, stood two of my impressionable young boys dressed in dresses and boas!  ACK!!!  How could I?  Oh, and did I mention that one of them also happened to be holding a baby doll???  Seriously, I should have been fired on the spot!  At least that’s how Mr. Buff felt.  Of course, his little outrage in my room only fueled my fire.  Amazingly, I always needed to talk to him about the time my boys were enjoying some insane, homosexual fueling ritual.

Being the young person I was then, I attempted to educate Mr. Buff on the developmental importance of pretend play.  Of course I also gave a mini-lecture on the nature of homosexuality.  Sadly, he avoided my room from that day forward.  I think about those boys today and how they would be about 18 now.  I wonder just how gay I made them…

I was ripped into this memory today as I did a developmental assessment on a little boy who is about to turn 2.  This sweet, little angel was incredibly shy and didn’t want to move very far from his mom.  So, I politely asked her some of the questions from the assessment.  Of course the one that knocked me on my ass was her answer to the question about her son’s pretend play with baby dolls or stuffed animals.  “OH NO!  He don’t get no baby dolls – I nipped that in the bud RIGHT away!  He know better than to touch his sister’s baby dolls!”


I’m much older and wiser now.  So, I let it go.  I didn’t give my lecture.  I tried really hard not to roll my eyes.  Good thing they were looking down at the assessment protocol because I’m pretty certain I wasn’t successful.

Then I got to thinking…  Yes, I was thinking…

Do people really still think that if you let William play with a doll that he’s gonna end up gay???

I’ve talked about my little brother a time or two here.  My brother is 8 years younger than me and 3 years younger than my sister.  We tortured the hell out of him!  I can’t count the number of times that we dressed him up in our clothes.  Being the only boy, he was stuck playing with Barbie’s.  Even when he wanted to play G.I. Joe we managed to turn it into Barbie’s.  Hell, HeMan was the driver of the pink Barbie convertible!  Somebody had to chauffeur Barbie around!

The point here, and I do have one I promise, is that my brother didn’t end up gay.  Sure, he’s messed up – but what younger sibling isn’t??  He has a beautiful daughter and very much enjoys being with women (more information than a sister ever wanted to know!).

When Keegan was a baby we gave Eli a doll to play with.  He could change the diaper.  He could wrap it in a blanket.  He could pretend to nurse it (really, this was about the cutest thing he ever did!).  Eventually he traded in the doll for cars and blocks and plastic animals all on his own.

There are two dolls that still hang around this house.  Occasionally the boys will pull them out and pretend to be, of all things, daddies.  Wow, and they don’t even have a daddy in their house…  Wow do I seem to be messing up a fair bunch of the theories on what living in a gay household does to a child…  Don’t worry, dear readers.  I promise to try harder!

So I gotta put it out there.  Did any of the rest of you totally mess up the males in your life with the addition of baby dolls??  Or were you mommy of the year and put your foot down??  Goodness knows we gotta stop turning all these kids into the next generation of HomoAmericans…



About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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3 Responses to Look Out For The HomoAmericans

  1. Debbi Henry says:

    Thanks a lot Heather! I think I am going to have nightmares tonight of those kids’ heads floating around.

    I just can’t believe that people actually think that by letting little boys play with dolls and dresses it will “make” them gay. You did a really good job of holding your tongue with that mother!! I’m not sure if I would have been able to do the same.

    How cute is Eli that he did such a good job with his baby doll and even pretended to nurse it–too cute!

  2. Elastamom says:

    I love this post so much. My boys have always been able to play with dolls and “girl” stuff. We talk about how Daddy had to change diapers and play with babies so it’s a good thing to play with dolls so they can learn how to be a good Daddy too. We also always talk about how it’s ok to like boys or girls because I don’t EVER want them to think I care either way…just in case. You and I have talked about this before but I just want my boys to feel loved and accepted no matter who they love.

    Ok, I’m done now. 🙂

  3. Mrs.Mayhem says:

    Excellent point. My sons have played with dolls, barbies, and princess dress up. My daughters have played with nerf guns, trucks, and action figures. It remains to be seen if any of them are gay. But if they are, it is NOT because of the toys they played with.

    By the way, my oldest pretended to nurse, too. And he made a pretend breastpump out of two suction cups on a bathtub toy net. Too cute!

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