I’ve been struggling with moving on knowing all that my brother must be going through. I’ve been worrying about my niece. I’ve been negotiating our house in anticipation of her possible arrival. Where will she sleep? Where will my brother sleep? What do I need to do to get her enrolled in school? We’ll need to get her into counseling.
All of this and she’s not even here.
At times like this it amuses me that Eli is not at all biologically related to me because he and I are SO very much alike!
So, I’ve been working hard to focus on the little things, the things that get me from moment to moment and day-to-day.
Things like hiking with Eli through the field behind our house to get to the abandoned barn that’s barely standing. The entire way we pretended to be a prince and princess on an adventure. We were attacked by an evil wizard and had to make snow angels to escape.
Things like cleaning off all of the snow on the trampoline and watching Keegan and my honey crawl under the trampoline and push the snow out. This created a great little fort for the boys to play in. And play they did.
The Darth Vader VW commercial during the Super Bowl. It reminds me of Keegan. Throughout the commercial I could imagine him under the mask. It makes me smile and giggle and feel happy all over.
Taking them skating only to realize that there was too much melted snow on the ice to be able to skate. Watching them get bummed and then watching them make lemonade from lemons by deciding to hang out at the park and play in the snow for a while. Then begging to play in the back yard upon arriving home.
Offering to make heart cookies for upcoming Valentine’s Day parties at school. There’s nothing more fun than sharing a heart cookie with a friend – especially one that your mommy made.
Rearranging my schedule in order to be able to attend Eli’s Valentine’s Day party at school. And then seeing the expression of pure joy on his face when I announced to him that I would be there.
All of this and it’s only Monday.
I look forward to later this week as Eli approaches yet another 20 🙂 in a row. I cross my fingers and wish for him the strength and self-control to make it to 30 – where he has chosen for all of us to go out to a movie as a reward.
I will continue to look for a little beauty on the horizon until I know the outcome of my brother’s situation. It’s the only way that I can go through each day and still maintain what little sanity I have in my possession.
What are the things that get you through the hard times? What helps you keep the crazy at bay?