When Words Don’t Help

Eli started talking early – full sentences by 18 months.

The pediatrician was amazed when he said “paper” at his 15 month check-up.

We have always been fortunate that he has been able to ask questions, answer questions and give us more information than we’ve probably ever needed.

Yet, all the talking in the world can’t fix whatever is wrong with my little boy.

Eli has had pretty severe anxiety all week.  He has cried before each soccer practice saying that he doesn’t want to be away from us.  He held my leg and gave me the saddest look I’ve ever seen and asked me to please, please not go to work.  He went to the nurse’s office at school complaining of a sore throat.  He has been very easily upset and has been very quick to get angry.

The only thing I can say is that it’s not SPD.

This is so different from any of his SPD episodes.

No, this is anxiety.

I type this with tears in my eyes because I don’t know how to help him.

I’ve tried talking to him.  He makes up reasons for his anxiety just so I’ll stop talking.

I emailed his teacher to find out if anything has changed at school.  She responded that he has been having a lot more difficulty at school too.  She wants to bring in the Intervention Assistance Team.  She wants to talk with his private OT.  She wants to help him succeed.

I will go to his school tomorrow for a Pumpkin Party.  I will support him as best as I can.  I will bring him home and we will do things that are fun.

It’s my goal to do things that he wants.  We’re going to carve pumpkins.  We’re going to bake sugar cookies and frost them.  We’re going to make applesauce.  We’re going to play Wii.  We’re going to read stories.  And I hope that we’re going to do some talking – real talking.

It’s so hard for me to watch him go through this and know that there’s very little I can do to make it better.

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About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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6 Responses to When Words Don’t Help

  1. Debbi Henry says:

    I hope you and Eli have a wonderful day tomorrow. Maybe keeping his hands busy while baking will help him to talk more freely?
    Good luck and I will be thinking of you!

  2. Elastamom says:

    It is so hard when you don’t know how to help your kids…either because they don’t know how to express it or can’t. Thinking of you!

  3. Patty says:

    This is so hard. My son had major speech delays and still is not very good at expressing himself, which is frustrating. But I think it would be even harder when your son CAN talk, but can’t really express how he is doing.

    I hope that spending more one-on-one time with him will help him feel more secure, especially if he is having fun and it is really casual. He may need some time before he can tell you what he is feeling–heck, there are many times I can’t even put into words what is going on in my head and heart and I am an adult.

    Someone once gave me really good advice. They said that when they are talking with their son about something, like let’s say friends, they would talk about themselves and a tough experience they had. Then, often their kid would open up about what was going on with him. This way, the kid doesn’t feel pressured to talk, but just realizes his parents understand. I don’t know if that makes sense. Good luck!

  4. Mrs.Mayhem says:

    It is very difficult to know what our children need. In my opinion, you are doing the best thing to focus on him and spend time doing fun, peaceful activities. I hope he relaxes enough to open up to you!

  5. I really hope this past weekend was just what he needed and he had a better day at school today.

  6. Pingback: Time For Celebration | Brotherly Love

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