I’m Done With Quiet

You may think I’m crazy as you read this post.

You may be sitting with your favorite beverage questioning every word you read.

Though my brain does not function nearly as well as it once did, I swear to you that I am not in need of the little white coat.  The padded cell, maybe, but not the white coat!

I have been home alone (save for the dog who’s done nothing but sleep) since yesterday morning at 9:30am.

I wished my honey and my boys a safe and fun-filled trip and stepped back into my totally quiet house.  I sat on the couch for a moment and enjoyed the total lack of noise.  Then I left my house for the hustle and bustle of the real world.

After shopping and running errands was complete, I decided to go for a nice walk in the local park.  The park was amazingly void of people for such a beautiful day.  I had the trail to myself, save for a few forest critters.  I’ll admit that about mile 3 into the trail I began to feel uncomfortable in all that silence.  I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was missing.

I returned home to more peace and quiet.  I fixed myself some dinner and lazed on the couch to one of my favorite movies.  I went to bed when I wanted and slept peacefully in that queen sized bed all alone.

This morning it hit me.

I was peeling and slicing apples for some delicious crock-pot applesauce when I realized how much I missed my guys.  Last weekend they helped me ready the apples and it was so much fun.  They talked a mile a minute about anything and everything.  Today it was just me alone with my thoughts (not at all a pretty picture people!).

I couldn’t take the quiet any longer.  I turned on Pandora and put it on shuffle.  I cranked the music loud and cleaned my house.

And now here I sit.  The tv is on for background noise because I can’t bear the thought of more quiet.  As crazy as it sounds, I miss the chaos of my boys running, playing and even fighting.

I’m certain that my mind will change about this within 24 hours of their return.  For now I’m thankful for the family that I have been given and I know that I could truly not be able to live without them.

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About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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5 Responses to I’m Done With Quiet

  1. Elastamom says:

    I get that way too. I like it for a while and then I miss the chaos.

  2. akbutler says:

    so interesting that you say that. When I came back from my race a few weekends ago, my husband was out w/all the kids at a friend’s house. At first I thought – wow! I can shower and have lunch in peace! But it made me a little sad and lonely too. I totally get where you’re coming from!

  3. I get it and I also turn the TV on for background noise BUT the TV is on the channel I want it on, at a volume I like it at. It’s blissful to me until about day 2 or 3 and after a week, I’m wondering WTH is wrong with me.

  4. Patty says:

    I totally understand your ambivalence. I often yearn for some free time and some quite. Then, I’ll get an opportunity to go to the store alone and I suddenly miss my kids. It’s crazy, but I understand!

    Right now, I feel like I would kill for a day alone, but I know after about 8 hours, I would get lonely and sad. Still, I could so use the break!

  5. CK says:

    I get that way when I’ve left them with their grandparents for awhile, but I’ve never had the house to myself. I’m not so sure I’d miss them. (of course that could be because the day is not quite over yet!)

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