Friday Finale

I chose LeeAnn Womack’s “I Hope You Dance” for this week’s Friday Finale. It says all I wanted to say today, to get across this week. Making sure that you are taking the time to “dance” – whatever that may mean to you.

To me it sometimes literally means dancing! There isn’t much better than turning up some tunes with a beat and shakin’ what my mama gave me while I’m making a great dinner for my family. I enjoy biking – an hour with the wind in my face and the tunes in my ears. I love to read, to scrapbook, to write.  Somewhere along the way all of those things got set aside – I got set aside.

Hello, my name is Heather and I don’t take appropriate care of myself.  It has been one week since I have done something for only me…..

Yes, I do think there should be a 12 step program for this!  I know hundreds of moms and we all have this in common: we put the needs of others before ourselves.  I work in the Human Services field so by the very nature of my job I put my needs aside for others.  Unfortunately I carry that over to home as well.

Last week I took a stained glass class.  It was a total fluke thing.  I signed up ages ago but was on a waiting list so I figured I’d never get in.  Someone called me about 2 days before the class to say there was an opening and wondered if I wanted in.  I hesitated!!!!  I cannot believe it myself, but I actually hesitated.  Instantly I ran through about a hundred things in my mind that I should probably do instead – none of them involved “me” time.  Fortunately, that little voice in my head (the one I often ignore) SCREAMED at me!  It said “take the class stupid!  you’ll regret it if you don’t!” 

So, I said yes and drove over to pay my $21 dollar fee – can you believe the $21 was something I hesitated over too!  I don’t hesitate to pay the $65 for Eli to play t-ball or the $40 for Keegan to play soccer.  Again the little voice screamed at me!  Bitch!!!

I made time to come home before the class to kiss my guys goodnight since it was an evening class.  I headed out with nothing in tow – not even my sanity. 

The instructor of the class was amazing.  He talked us through each step and did hands on demonstrations.  I got to pick all of my glass – I got to change my mind about my glass choices about half a dozen times.  I got to cut glass.  I got to use a soldering gun – yes people were a little scared!  And when all was said and done I got to bring this home:

Yes, I did make that!
I find it rather symbolic that one of the first things I really take time to do for myself in a long time is make a butterfly.  I feel like it’s reminding me that I need to spread my wings more often.  To fly high and see things from a different perspective.  To transform from the caterpillar with a monotonous job, that can never get any further than the leaf, to the butterfly that gets to explore the world, to taste the sweet nectar of life.
I need to taste the sweet nectar of life so that I can return to my family more vibrant than when I left.
Last Thursday after my stained glass class I returned home much more vibrant.  I danced, I flew and I found a small part of my sanity.

I found a piece of myself amongst all of those pieces of glass. 


About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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2 Responses to Friday Finale

  1. The Henrys says:

    Heather, this is beautiful. From the beginning with your choice of song, until the ending when you turned into a butterfly, it is beautiful. I am so glad that you took the class and got to make a beautiful piece of art. It is a perfect, visual, reminder for you to look at and use to quiet those voices. I just may have to get something visual for myself to make it easier to quiet my own voices.

  2. Tiffany says:

    Good for you!! That is beautiful and will be a constant reminder to take time for yourself!!

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