Birthday Party Blues

This is Eli with his best buddy Jack.  Jack was invited to Keegan’s birthday party for two reasons.  Jack is friends with both Eli and Keegan, and Jack would be someone “special” for Eli to play with. 

Jack and Eli are great friends who get each other so totally wound up that they can’t come down from it.  But at Keegan’s party on Sunday Jack had a very important job.  Jack’s job was to keep Eli’s mind off of all the people at the party.  He did great at that!

Eli doesn’t do well in crowds.  He can function if he has something to keep his mind off it.  Otherwise, he goes into complete shutdown mode.  The other problem with parties is that if his mind is off of it then he has modulation issues – he gets up but can’t come back down.

Keegan’s party on Sunday found Eli occupied by Jack for the better part of the afternoon.  He got to the emotional high.  This time, though, he crashed.  He crashed hard.  When Jack left Eli suddenly realized where he was and what was going on.  He went into shutdown mode and crawled underneath the couch.  He stayed there for several minutes before crawling into my lap in the tiniest ball he could get into.  He pulled my head to his and whispered in my ear that he wanted to go to his room.  I took him upstairs into his room.  He wanted to be alone so I walked away and he closed his door.  He didn’t come out until a few more people had left the party.  Even then, he crawled back into my lap in the ball until everyone else had left the party.

The last two days have been really hard for him.  He is still in recovery mode from the party which means emotional nightmare for him.  Today he was playing on the Wii with Keegan.  Keegan wasn’t doing what Eli wanted so Eli started crying hysterically – he couldn’t stop himself.

It’s so hard when he gets like this.  He has such a hard time dealing with large family events.  He always goes through emotional craziness afterward.  I’m not sure how to help him through this aside from avoiding family events altogether.  Unfortunately, that’s not always possible. 

So, for now, I try to offer him the things I know will work for him, will help him.  I try to offer him reassurance.  And most of all, I try to be as understanding as possible for his sake.  It’s gotta really suck when you can’t control any of your emotions. 

I love you peanut – how about I give out the ocean wave hugs this time…..

About Brotherly Love

I am a mom, partner, teacher and a lover of life. I have two fabulous boys who define my life as I know it. One of my children has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Asperger's and anxiety disorder. I blog as much about him as I do about my life and the lives of my immediate family.
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3 Responses to Birthday Party Blues

  1. The Henrys says:

    I hope he gets back to normal soon! It can be so hard for them to go to family events. For Gracie, she can be fine as long as she can control the amount of contact she has. When people talk to her, look at her, or laugh, she gets overwhelmed and starts to cry. I always tell people to give her time before they talk to her. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.Thanks for the tip on allergies being the cause of Caleb's ear infections. I do believe the allergies are the major cause, but I never thought to have his tonsils and adniods removed because of that. I will ask the ENT.

  2. Brandi says:

    I hear ya…you read my post about Birthday parties. HATE THEM!!! LOL!!! Hope he's back to himself soon!

  3. TKW says:

    You know, I don't think we've EVER gotten through a birthday party without some kind of meltdown. ((hugs)) It's so hard.

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