A couple of months ago I posted this blog. I was so very excited to see things changing for the community that I am a part of. Today my excitement all went south.
I received a letter in the mail today regarding Domestic Partner benefits. Benefits were to begin on yesterday. They did not start because of the IRS. The IRS doesn’t recognize domestic partnerships, same-sex marriages, or any other combination of words that boils down to a commitment between two people of the same sex. And, because they don’t recognize any of the aforementioned, I get to be financially punished.
The letter I received in the mail today stated that I would be penalized $100/pay because I was choosing to take out insurance coverage on someone to whom I had no legal attachment. Benefits had not gone into effect because I had the option to change my mind and not be penalized. And, of course, I have until Friday of this week to make my decision.
I have jumped through hoops, provided documentation that people with a marriage certificate don’t have to even think about. I fought day and night for 4 days to be certain that I had all of the paperwork I needed to be able to access the benefits for the person I consider to be my spouse. And now because I did all of that I will be punished.
I will likely be choosing to not take the coverage because we are already paying a lot of money for my honey to have her own insurance through work and another $100/pay is just not worth it for coverage that is only considered secondary. We don’t need it that badly. The principle behind it, though, makes me wish we could afford to stick it to them. After all, why offer to recognize Domestic Partnerships if it offers no rights whatsoever.
Eli asked me last night at dinner if I was married. I told him no. He asked if I had a boyfriend. Again I told him no. He said I needed a boyfriend. I told him that I love mama and she would be hurt if I had a boyfriend or married a man. He asked me why I didn’t just marry mama. I told him because I couldn’t. There are people out there who say that I can’t get married to mama. He rolled his eyes, huffed and said that I just needed to get a boyfriend because he really wanted me to get married. Keegan piped up then and offered to be my boyfriend.
Society has even gotten to my son and because he is only 5 I can’t explain to him all of the things he should know. It truly is ridiculous that my son should have to ask why his parents aren’t married. I would like to know myself.